As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
