I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
