she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
