Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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