dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
