4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if you like me you must not know who I am
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
