youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
