If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
