We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
