Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
