hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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