mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
