I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
