the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
