You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
