Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
