I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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