Kareoke will never be a sober sport
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
