I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
