i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
