he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
