you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
