Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
