It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
