I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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