My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
