he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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