weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
