Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
