I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
