Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
