On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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