I'm drive I can fine osifer
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
