the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
