Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
