did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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