Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
