and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
