Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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