party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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