careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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