Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
