That reminds me...we need to get swords
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
