she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
