Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
