You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
