this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
