I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
