giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
