you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
